It doesn’t matter why you divorced or what your relationship with your ex is. If you have a child visitation agreement in place then both parties need to respect it. Unfortunately, in volatile divorce proceedings this doesn’t always happen. At Law Office of Michael L. Fell we can help with child custody and visitation modifications if necessary. In the meantime, read on to learn about some of the most common issues with these agreements and the best way to handle them.
Being dropped off and picked up late
If it feels as though your ex is always running late when they’re picking up or dropping off the kids, then it can feel as though they’re wasting your time and showing you disrespect. This can also make it difficult to plan your own life. While yelling at your ex or getting upset with them may seem the only natural response, the truth is that it’s not likely to get you what you want.
What will happen if you get upset is that they’ll get defensive and you’ll simply end up arguing. To avoid that, try a gentle reminder that the schedule you have set up is set up that way for a reason. Let the know that if it’s not working for them, perhaps it can be adjusted so that they’ll be able to be more punctual. Stick to logic – not emotion – and you may end up solving the problem for good.
Getting canceled on
It may seem as though your ex constantly has a new excuse about why they’re not able to see the kids during their approved visitation time. They may not be feeling well, they may have had a work issue come up, or perhaps they don’t have transportation. This is not only an inconvenience for you but can be very disappointing and hurtful for the kids.
Once again, the key to handle this issue is to keep your anger under wraps. Pay attention to your kids and how they’re feeling. Have an honest conversation with them and make sure they know that it’s not their fault that their parent has stood them up once again. Yelling at your ex or talking negatively about them won’t be helpful. Remember that your children still love them and the last thing you want is to put your children in the middle of a tense situation.
Changes to the schedule
Despite everyone’s best intentions, things happen and the schedule may change. You will likely have to deal with changes to your ex’s schedule and they’ll likely need to deal with changes to your schedule. However, if permanent changes need to be made then you should go through the court. Remember that consistency is important for your kids and both you and your ex should be doing your best to follow the schedule. That’s most easily done when the schedule is plainly and legally laid out.
If you have issues with your child visitation agreement, or if you’re just starting the process of separating or divorcing, contact Law Office of Michael L. Fell at 949-585-9055 for a consultation.