Divorce is difficult enough on its own—but when the end of a marriage includes ongoing tension, resentment, or poor communication, co-parenting becomes even more challenging. Many parents in high-conflict situations ask the same question: Can joint custody still work when we can barely be in the same room?
At Law Office of Michael L. Fell, we’ve worked with countless Southern California families navigating the complexities of custody agreements. While joint custody is often ideal in theory—giving children time with both parents—it can be tricky in practice when conflict runs high. Here’s what you need to know if you’re considering or already dealing with joint custody in a high-conflict divorce.
What Joint Custody Actually Means
Joint custody doesn’t always mean a 50/50 split in time or responsibilities. It refers to two main forms:
- Joint legal custody – Both parents share the right to make major decisions about the child’s upbringing (education, medical care, religion, etc.).
- Joint physical custody – The child spends substantial time living with both parents, though not necessarily equally.
In California, courts often favor joint legal custody unless one parent poses a serious risk to the child. Joint physical custody is more nuanced and may depend on the child’s age, school location, and the parents’ ability to cooperate.
Why Joint Custody Can Be Difficult in High-Conflict Situations
When parents struggle to communicate respectfully—or not at all—joint custody can quickly lead to:
- Disagreements over schedules or decision-making
- Frequent arguments in front of the child
- Inconsistency in rules or routines between households
- Stress or anxiety for the child caught in the middle
Children thrive on stability, and conflict between parents—especially if it’s ongoing or visible—can be emotionally damaging.
When Joint Custody Can Still Work
Even in high-conflict cases, joint custody isn’t automatically off the table. It may still be possible if:
- Communication is kept strictly businesslike and limited to essential topics
- Parents use tools like co-parenting apps to reduce direct contact
- A clear, detailed parenting plan outlines everything from holiday schedules to school pick-ups
- Both parents are committed to shielding the child from conflict
Judges may also appoint a parenting coordinator or suggest parallel parenting (a structure where parents minimize interaction while sharing custody) to reduce friction.
When Sole Custody Might Be a Better Option
In cases involving abuse, substance abuse, neglect, or severe communication breakdown, one parent may petition for sole legal and/or physical custody. This ensures that the child has a stable, conflict-free home base and that important decisions aren’t derailed by ongoing disputes.
However, even with sole custody, the noncustodial parent may still be granted visitation rights—unless those pose a danger to the child’s safety or wellbeing.
How a Family Law Attorney Can Help
Navigating custody in a high-conflict divorce is not something you should do alone. An experienced attorney from Law Office of Michael L. Fell can:
- Help you draft a strong parenting plan tailored to your unique situation
- Represent your interests in court during custody hearings
- Gather evidence if sole custody is necessary for your child’s wellbeing
- Advise you on tools and strategies for reducing conflict while protecting your rights as a parent
We understand how emotionally charged these situations can be—and we’re here to help you pursue an outcome that’s in your child’s best interest.
Call Law Office of Michael L. Fell at 949-585-9055 to Discuss Your Custody Options
If you’re facing a high-conflict custody battle, don’t wait to seek legal guidance. Call Law Office of Michael L. Fell at 949-585-9055 today to schedule a consultation. We’ll walk you through your options, help you protect your rights, and work toward a custody solution that prioritizes your child’s stability and happiness.